Every January, millions of people start the year with high hopes and big goals. By mid-month, 85% have already given up. Here's why this happens—and, more importantly, how to beat the odds.
The Real Problem Isn't Motivation
Most people attribute this to a lack of motivation. We've all heard it before: "If you really wanted it, you'd do it." Which is only 33% true.
Human behavior is governed by three variables, and motivation is the least reliable and the one we have the least control over. So, what are the other two?
The Science of Behavior Change
Research from Stanford shows that Behavior happens when three elements align:
- Motivation - Your desire to do something
- Ability - How easy or difficult it is
- Prompt - A trigger that reminds you to act
B = MAP
Most people focus only on motivation, which is just one piece of the puzzle. This explains the high failure rate.
Making Change Actually Stick
Here's how to use all three elements for lasting change.
Start with Tiny Behaviors
When trying to change behavior or build new habits, research shows it's best to break big goals into tiny, manageable actions rather than trying to make huge changes all at once.
For example, instead of committing to an hour-long workout, you might start with just putting on your gym clothes or doing one push-up.
I know it sounds ridiculous, but if you don’t have to stop after fulfilling your tiny commitment. If you feel motivated to keep going, then keep going.
The key is to make behaviors so easy that you can do them even on your worst days. This is more sustainable than trying to force yourself to do challenging things through sheer will-power.
While this may feel too insignificant to matter, starting tiny allows you to build momentum and confidence gradually.
Create Reliable Prompts
Research also shows that one of the most effective ways to build new habits is to create specific environmental triggers that remind you to do the desired behavior. This could mean leaving your meditation cushion in plain sight or keeping a water bottle on your desk.
A well-established strategy is to link new habits to existing ones—what behavioral scientists call "habit stacking." For example, you might decide to take your vitamins right after brushing your teeth each morning. This leverages habits you already have to help establish new ones.
While technology can be helpful, it should be used strategically. Simple phone reminders or calendar alerts can work, but too many notifications can become overwhelming and easy to ignore. The key is to create prompts that you'll actually notice and respond to consistently.
Support Motivation (But Don't Rely On It)
While motivation is helpful, science tells us it's unreliable and can fluctuate quite a bit over time.
Instead of solely relying on it, use the spurts in motivation strategically to build systems that make your desirable behaviors easier on days when motivation is low.
Celebrate small wins—even tiny steps toward your goal. This triggers positive emotions that quite literally help wire in new habits—positive emotions build and reinforce the pathways in our brains that make the behaviors easier and more reliable in the future.
It's also well-established that tracking progress visually, like with a simple chart or calendar, can help maintain momentum even when motivation dips.
Many behavior experts recommend working with accountability partners, who can support your goals and help you stay on track.
From my own experience, I know that have no problem flaking on myself. No guilt and no hesitation. If I see an out, I take it. But if I promised a friend that I’d be at the trailhead at 6 in the morning for a run, I’d be 100x more motivated to keep that promise.
However, it's important to remember that even accountability partners can't provide constant motivation.
The key insight from behavioral science is that while motivation and support are valuable tools, they shouldn't be your primary strategy for change. Instead, focus on building systems and habits that work even when motivation is low.
The Key Takeaway
Stop relying on motivation. Real behavior change happens when you make things easier and create reliable prompts—motivation is just the bonus that helps it stick.
Ready to Make Lasting Change? The science is clear: tiny behaviors, reliable prompts, and strategic support are the building blocks of real change. If you're struggling to build new habits or break old ones, let's explore how these proven principles can work for your specific situation. Together, we can design a practical approach that fits your life.
