Why encouraging complainers might be the secret to stronger teams

Think complaints are just a headache? They might be more valuable than you realize.

In many organizations, a complaint is often met with a quick dismissal or a roll of the eyes. Leaders, either because they are busy or think complaining brings negative energy, usually respond with, "Don't bring me problems; bring me solutions!” This attitude treats complaints like unwanted noise, disrupting the team's focus and harmony.

But what if this common reaction is a missed opportunity? Could there be hidden benefits in these moments of discontent? Let's dive into why encouraging, rather than silencing, complainers might be the secret to stronger teams.

The misconception of complaints

When we think of leadership, we often picture a role that involves steering a team toward success, overcoming obstacles, and maintaining a positive, productive atmosphere.

In this context, complaints seem like unwelcome speed bumps, slowing progress and spreading negativity. This perception has led to a common misconception in many organizations: that complaints are inherently harmful and counterproductive.

Wishing to maintain momentum and harmony, you might view complaints as personal criticisms or signs of a team member's lack of commitment or resilience.

And this idea gets more backing from a culture where being positive is often seen as the same as being productive. As a result, complaints are dismissed or discouraged, seen not as opportunities for improvement but as threats to the status quo.

However, this way of thinking misses out on the real value that can be found in complaints.

A few years ago, one of my clients went to their manager with complaints about a colleague—let’s call them Trent. My client and Trent were expected to work closely together on a project, but Trent kept ghosting my client and seemingly ignoring all their attempts to connect.

The manager's response was to spend two weeks keeping these individuals apart, effectively avoiding addressing the complaint directly.

Two weeks later, Trent has left the company. It turned out he was overwhelmed by the unreasonable demands on his time and the complete lack of clarity on his organization’s priorities. His manager adding yet another project on Trent’s plate was the last straw.

At the same time, my client felt unsupported by the same manager and left the company two months after Trent.

Trent and my client are both incredibly talented and hard-working senior leaders. Their departure was a massive setback for the company—an utterly avoidable outcome. The results could have been very different if their manager listened to the complaints and engaged with them thoughtfully and with empathy.

When a team member brings up a concern, it's not necessarily a sign of dissent or disengagement. More often, it reflects their investment in their work and their desire to see the team succeed. Complaints can be early warning signals, flagging issues before they escalate into major problems. They can also provide fresh perspectives and insights that might otherwise go unnoticed.

If you always see complaints as just negative, you might end up in a situation where important feedback gets ignored or pushed aside.

The result is a superficial harmony. Where underlying issues remain unaddressed, potentially harming the team's long-term health and effectiveness.

The deeper significance of complaints

Complaints are rarely just about the surface issue.

When your team member voices a complaint, it's often a signal of something deeper. A concern or a frustration that goes beyond the immediate problem. It's a glimpse into their perspective, revealing what they value, what frustrates them, and where their expectations are unmet.

Understanding this can be a game-changer.

A complaint is not just a moment of dissent; it's a courageous act of trust. It shows that the employee believes in the possibility of change and trusts you enough to share their concern. This is particularly true in environments where speaking up is not the norm. By coming forward, the employee is taking a risk, implicitly expressing faith in your ability to listen and respond constructively.

The real challenge is to see beyond the complaint itself.

To recognize it as an opportunity to gain insight into the team's dynamics, the effectiveness of processes, and the overall health of your organization. Doing so can turn what appears to be a negative moment into a constructive step toward improvement and greater understanding within the team.

The role of trust

Trust is the foundation of a strong leader-team member relationship in any organization. When leaders respond to complaints with openness and a genuine willingness to understand, they are actively building this trust. It's about showing team members that their voices are heard and valued. This approach creates an environment where people feel safe to express their concerns without fear of retribution or dismissal.

But building trust goes beyond just listening.

It involves a commitment to transparency and follow-through. When a complaint is raised, you should communicate your plans to address the issue or explain why no action may be taken. This level of openness and honesty reinforces trust, showing that you are not only receptive to feedback but also accountable for your responses.

Leaders who successfully build trust can transform their work environment.

With trust, there's more collaboration, more willingness to take risks, and a stronger sense of community. Employees in a high-trust environment are more likely to be engaged, motivated, and committed to the organization's goals. They're also more likely to bring forward innovative ideas and solutions, knowing that their input is valued and respected.

In essence, trust turns the leader into a facilitator of growth and change rather than a mere authority figure. By valuing complaints and using them as a tool to build trust, you can create a more dynamic, resilient, and forward-thinking team.

The unloading process: Helping team members vent

A crucial aspect of dealing with complaints is allowing your team members to vent.

This unloading process is therapeutic; it provides a safe space for employees to express frustrations and concerns, lightening their emotional load. When you facilitate this venting process with patience and understanding, without rushing to judgment or solutions, you validate the team members' feelings. This validation is vital to making employees feel genuinely heard and supported.

The act of venting itself can often be enough!

Sometimes, the solution to a complaint isn't a change in policy or procedure but simply the opportunity to express oneself. This release can lead to a clearer mind and reduced stress, helping team members to refocus on their tasks with a renewed perspective. In this way, you can help transform what starts as a negative expression into a positive step toward personal and team well-being.

To dive deeper into mastering this crucial skill of active listening, which is about empathy and understanding beyond just hearing the words, check out Listen up, leader: Mastering the art of listening.

From listening to action: Analyzing complaints for constructive outcomes

Once the venting phase is over, it's time for you to shift from listening to action.

This doesn't mean immediately implementing changes based on every complaint. Instead, it involves a careful analysis to understand whether the complaint points to a deeper systemic issue that needs addressing.

You should ask yourself: Is this a one-off frustration, or does it indicate a pattern? Can this complaint inspire an improvement in processes, communication, or team dynamics?

Discernment is critical in this phase.

You must balance empathy with practicality, making sure your response is not just sympathetic but also constructive. This might involve setting up a follow-up meeting to discuss potential solutions, seeking input from other team members, or revisiting team goals and strategies. The aim is to convert the raw material of complaints into actionable insights that can improve the team's effectiveness and satisfaction.

Finally, communication back to the team is crucial.

Explaining the reasoning behind the decision is essential whether you make changes or maintain the status quo. This transparency shows respect for the complainer's input and reinforces the culture of trust and open communication. By thoughtfully analyzing complaints and taking considered action, you can demonstrate that you not only listen but also value and use team feedback to drive positive change.


Rethinking your approach to complaints is not just about handling grievances; it's about embracing them as opportunities for growth, trust-building, and team strengthening.

A great leader sees beyond the discomfort of complaints, recognizing them as channels for deeper insights and catalysts for positive change. Shifting your perspective can transform your leadership style into more empathetic, effective, and inclusive.

P.S. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you’re facing a particularly tricky complainer or feel you could benefit from a deeper dive into these concepts. Schedule a free consultation to explore strategies to turn challenging complaints into constructive outcomes.