A few high-profile executives recently said that they don’t do 1-on-1s with their direct reports.
The most recent example was Brian Chesky, the co-founder and CEO of Airbnb. He said, “I don't believe in 1-on-1s, and almost no great CEO in history has ever done 1-on-1s. Very few! Jensen Huang [the founder and CEO of Nvidia] doesn’t do 1-on-1s because he wants everyone to be part of a solution.”
As expected, this instantly started conversations in various leadership groups.
Just the other day, someone asked: “I’m not fully clear on what a 1-on-1 is supposed to accomplish. Is it about performance? Is it coaching? Career development? Therapy? Shooting the breeze to build rapport and social cohesion? A place to vent? Status update? Gathering feedback for the company and team?”
This confusion is understandable. There is a lot of conflicting information, and folks like Jensen Huang and Brian Chesky are not adding clarity.
It’s true that when 1-on-1s become formulaic and rigid, they often cease being useful. So it helps to remember why we do 1-on-1s and what goals we’re trying to accomplish with them. Is it about performance? Is it coaching?
In a word, it’s about relationships.
A team is nothing more and nothing less than a series of relationships. The goal of regular 1-on-1s is to carve out a time in your busy schedule to build and maintain those relationships.
Do you need a formal meeting to accomplish that? Of course not! If you can maintain your relationships without regular 1-on-1s—all the power to ya!
But if you’re one of the folks who doesn’t do regular 1-on-1s and believes all of your relationships are “just fine.” Ask yourself, how do you know they are just fine? What indicators are you looking at?
If you can’t answer that, then you don’t know if your relationships are just fine. I’d suggest getting a few 1-on-1s back on your calendar.
Conversely, many people do 1-on-1s without realizing they do 1-on-1s.
At one of my previous jobs, for example, once or twice a week, I’d grab a coffee with one of my employees at a place across the street. We’d just watch the trains and shoot the breeze for 30 minutes—I count those as 1-on-1s.
1-on-1s are just a dedicated time to discuss things with your employees that you wouldn’t discuss in a group. That’s all there is to it. Unsurprisingly, exactly what you discuss depends on the employee and the situation.
Below is an incomplete list of possible topics and reasons that make 1-on-1 meetings valuable and distinct from other types of meetings.
1. Personal Development & Career Growth
- Discussing individual career aspirations
- Providing specific feedback on growth areas
- Exploring personal development opportunities
- Setting individual goals and tracking progress
- Discussing skills they want to develop
2. Sensitive Personal Matters
- Addressing work-life balance challenges
- Discussing health or personal issues affecting work
- Handling accommodation needs
- Working through emotional challenges
- Addressing burnout or stress concerns
3. Individual Performance
- Giving detailed performance feedback
- Addressing specific behavior or performance concerns
- Recognizing individual achievements
- Discussing compensation and promotion opportunities
- Working through mistakes or learning opportunities
4. Role-Specific Topics
- Clarifying individual responsibilities
- Discussing workload and capacity
- Addressing role-specific challenges
- Aligning on priorities
- Providing context relevant to their specific work
5. Building Trust & Relationship
- Getting to know each other personally
- Building psychological safety
- Understanding individual communication preferences
- Learning about their motivations and values
- Creating space for difficult conversations
6. Individual Coaching & Support
- Providing mentorship
- Offering specific guidance and coaching
- Understanding what resources they need
- Identifying blockers to their success
- Discussing what support they need from you
7. Feedback Collection
- Getting candid feedback about your leadership
- Understanding their perspective on team dynamics
- Hearing concerns they may not raise in group settings
- Learning about team issues early
- Getting suggestions for improvement
8. Two-Way Communication
- Having deeper strategic discussions
- Explaining organizational changes with personal context
- Answering questions they may not ask in groups
- Ensuring messages are clearly understood
- Providing rationale for decisions
There’s no one correct way to do a 1-on-1. Whatever the topic, regular 1-on-1s create a trust that enables more honest, vulnerable, and productive conversations that wouldn't be appropriate or effective in a group setting. They also demonstrate that you value each employee as an individual and are invested in their success.