A few high-profile executives recently said that they don’t do 1-on-1s with their direct reports.
The most recent example was Brian Chesky, the co-founder and CEO of Airbnb. He said, “I don't believe in 1-on-1s, and almost no great CEO in history has ever done 1-on-1s. Very few! Jensen Huang [the founder and CEO of Nvidia] doesn’t do 1-on-1s because he wants everyone to be part of a solution.”
As expected, this instantly started conversations in various leadership groups.
Just the other day, someone asked: “I’m not fully clear on what a 1-on-1 is supposed to accomplish. Is it about performance? Is it coaching? Career development? Therapy? Shooting the breeze to build rapport and social cohesion? A place to vent? Status update? Gathering feedback for the company and team?”
This confusion is understandable. There is a lot of conflicting information, and folks like Jensen Huang and Brian Chesky are not adding clarity.
It’s true that when 1-on-1s become formulaic and rigid, they often cease being useful. So it helps to remember why we do 1-on-1s and what goals we’re trying to accomplish with them. Is it about performance? Is it coaching?
In a word, it’s about relationships.
A team is nothing more and nothing less than a series of relationships. The goal of regular 1-on-1s is to carve out a time in your busy schedule to build and maintain those relationships.
Do you need a formal meeting to accomplish that? Of course not! If you can maintain your relationships without regular 1-on-1s—all the power to ya!
But if you’re one of the folks who doesn’t do regular 1-on-1s and believes all of your relationships are “just fine.” Ask yourself, how do you know they are just fine? What indicators are you looking at?
If you can’t answer that, then you don’t know if your relationships are just fine. I’d suggest getting a few 1-on-1s back on your calendar.
Conversely, many people do 1-on-1s without realizing they do 1-on-1s.
At one of my previous jobs, for example, once or twice a week, I’d grab a coffee with one of my employees at a place across the street. We’d just watch the trains and shoot the breeze for 30 minutes—I count those as 1-on-1s.
1-on-1s are just a dedicated time to discuss things with your employees that you wouldn’t discuss in a group. That’s all there is to it. Unsurprisingly, exactly what you discuss depends on the employee and the situation.
Below is an incomplete list of possible topics and reasons that make 1-on-1 meetings valuable and distinct from other types of meetings.
1. Personal Development & Career Growth
2. Sensitive Personal Matters
3. Individual Performance
4. Role-Specific Topics
5. Building Trust & Relationship
6. Individual Coaching & Support
7. Feedback Collection
8. Two-Way Communication
There’s no one correct way to do a 1-on-1. Whatever the topic, regular 1-on-1s create a trust that enables more honest, vulnerable, and productive conversations that wouldn't be appropriate or effective in a group setting. They also demonstrate that you value each employee as an individual and are invested in their success.